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Television Procedurals

Three Stars: Yay for Communism!

    As in television procedurals. These shows appear on YOUR television set! But don't get too full of yourself Mr.-too-cheap-for-premium-channels/invested-too-many-monies-into-other-"premium"-channels, because everyone has access to these! Yay for communism. These procedural tv shows are on those channels that don't necessarily have to come from the sky or poles in our backyard (this is from my somewhat limited knowledge of the workings of tv). You know, FOX (family oriented... wow, there is literally only one word I can think of that starts with X:xylophone, well that and xtreme), NBC
(short for nabisco, it's parent company), ABC (NBC-N+A=ABC), and CBS (this one I don't know, sorry).
 Procedurals are shows about anything! As long as anything means detectives, medical mysteries, or...actually that's it but that actually accounts for 72% of everything that's on television (source:TBD). Shows like CSI, CSI:Miami, csi:ny, csi:greater-region-of-lower-south-Hampton, NCSI (aka: NCIS), House, blah, blah, every sitcom ever, blah. These shows are awesome, they are often the most watched shows on television, and they are easily consumable. But they also are life-killing-monsters bent on ending our existence. You see, one Navy Criminal Detective series is okay to watch from time to time; but when you watch every episode of every procedural you must realize you have nothing to live for.
 There comes a time (usually around the 7th episode of the first season) that every episode becomes exactly the same minus the exactly part. Burn Notice on the USA channel (United Shows of America) literally is the same thing every episode. Mike the spy reluctantly agrees to do some random spy thing for a nice old lady, finds out old lady is in deep shit, does some covert mission almost-impossible stuff, then blows up the bad guys (or gets blown up... I can guarantee someone gets blown up in every episode). This is quite frankly, awesome, it's like, why would you mess up the perfect formula? Would you say "I don't like having constant relations with super attractive members of the opposite sex" just because it is just too much of the "same old, same old"? No, you wouldn't you liar. So, what's my problem with procedurals? n short, procedurals=pro-Abstinence infomercials (but awesome pro-abstinence infomercials).

Review By: Tyler Hall