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Casting Call: New Power Rangers Movie


Set in the current time period, the new Power Rangers movie will feature a new group of high school-ers just trying to navigate the tough times of their teenage years while balancing fighting evil giant robots and Ooze monsters.

 

Green Ranger- Timothy Olymphant

 
This guy is awesome. He is awesomely awesome in everything he does, much like the green ranger from the Power Rangers. And while nobody may be able to pull off summoning a robot dragon from the ocean by playing a flute, Olymphant is the closest that springs to mind.


Red Ranger- Ryan Reynolds


What better man than Reynolds to play a cocky, sure-fire hero? This one speaks for itself as Ryan was born for the lead role in Power Rangers. He IS the red ranger. Seriously, he probably is.


Blue Ranger- Chris Evans


Mostly just based on his role in The Losers where Evans played a nerd. He’d have to muscle down from his time as Captain America, but he seems to have a flair for the comedic nerd role.


Black Ranger- Tyrese Gibson


Racist. Tyrese Gibson is one of the most talented people alive. We named the freaking website after the man. If it weren’t for societal limitations he’d be the damn gold ranger.


Pink Ranger- Kate Upton


Kate Upton just seems to have “it”. One day her time will come for the big screen and what better way to showcase her talents than a pink latex suit for 120 minutes?

Yellow Ranger- Lucy Liu


Racist. Lucy Liu, of Charlie’s Angels fame, is a famous asian star yes, but she also is a decent…okay yeah, we picked her because she matched the ethnicity of the yellow ranger from the show. Jeez.


Zordon- Jeff Bridges

 


The movie will be an origin story, opening with how the power rangers received their gifts. It will then go on to tell some story about the power rangers fighting some space monkey robot thing who is in an even gianter robot fighting thing destroying the city. It will balance the interweaving story of Tyrese Gibson doin every chick he sees, Ryan Reynolds saving the day, Olymphant being evil and douchy about it (don’t worry he’ll turn good later on), Upton being stupid and playful, Liu doing yellow ranger stuff, and Chris Evans doing math crap.


-Ty

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